Yet another Diary Fic
by DragonCat91
Summary: My first attempt at a comedy. After reading Ivanfanatic's Erk Diary and laughing my butt off I decided to do one for Lethe. Grouchy characters make for the funniest diaries you know :P R&R please.
1. Chapter 1

Location: Some ship in the middle of nowhere

Weather: Cloudy

Ugh. These beorc are SO annoying. I was trying to take a nap when Ike and Mia woke me up screaming at each other. Apparently they were sparring and she smacked him in the you-know-where because he was trying to give her a black eye. To make matters worse, that idiotic fighter Boyd heard them and started laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. I told him to shut his trap or he'd have claw marks on his face for a month. He didn't shut up until Ike threatened to throw him overboard. I guess he thinks drowning is more painful than getting his eyes gouged out. Stupid beorc.

So then the ship ran into a rock and a bunch of crows attacked. Cursed luck. First His Majesty makes me travel with a bunch of beorc(which Mordecai doesn't seem to mind. I think somebody spiked his food.)THEN those filthy Kilvans go "Look there's a ship! Let's annoy the passengers to death and take all their shiny stuff!"

So yeah. I sharpened my claws on black feathers. I didn't mind much, until this wyvern rider flew in muttering something about "half-beasts". I was about to claw her guts out, but I heard Ike yell at her about her choice of words.  
Hmm. He may be a stupid beorc, but at least he's honorable...I guess.

The wyvern rider flew around taking down crows. Those things kept on coming! Doesn't Kilvas have anything better to do? I was expecially annoyed by their leader, Seeker. Everytime we almost had them all taken care of, he'd do his little "Caw! Caw!" distress call and send more of his minions. He could've flew up there and fought, but nooooo. Anything to save his hide. But I guess he finally got pissed enough, cause after the upteenth wave of crows he started flying to the ship.

Which was a dumb choice on his behalf. Rolf put an arrow right through his chest. Fact: Crows are stupid. So stupid they'd rather get themselves killed than retreat when it's obvious they're losing. 


	2. Chapter 2

It's time to talk to my reviewers! Thanks to all of you!

Wanchoo: Aww..thanks! I'll work on longer chapters, and I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry to say that I havent got past "A Guiding Wind" yet, so the chapters after this one will be randomness until I beat the stupid thing. But who doesnt like randomness?

Sakura Chan: I agree that Lethe doesnt have a very good personality. Like I said in the summary, the grouchy charries are easier to do a funny diary for.

Really, I'm surprised there was no "poor Ike" comments :P All I can say is "Go Mia!" Lol.

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Location: Still on the ship

Weather: Partly Cloudy

Well three dragons got the boat out of the rocks. The beorc are as annoying as usual. Mist keeps running around with food looking for that thief...I think his name's Volke. When he finally showed up he said he'd eat for a hundred gold. Ike got all pissed and said "I should tell Mist he's dead." Heh.

Boyd found his brothers and brought up the "special attack" subject. Rolf wanted to think up one. Boyd called him a peewee. The only thing THAT started was a screaming match. Squinty(Ok it's Oscar, but I call him Squinty)literally had to jump on them to keep them from killing each other.

Mordecai thought that was the funniest thing he'd seen in his life. I'm surprised his drink didn't come out of his nose, he was laughing so hard. Okay, I admit: Beorc can be entertaining. When they're not doing stupid things like arguing over who has bigger feet.(And I thought Gallian men were strange...) Or hitting each other in sensitive spots with sticks. Or pretending to be monkeys on the ship mast.(That was Rolf and Mist...the looks on their brothers' faces were priceless.)

So then this pegasus knight flew in and started rambling about the Apostle of Begnion wanting an audience with the Princess. Of course that was a big whoop-de-do.

And the crows attacked again! A bunch of pegasus knights tried(tried is the key word) to get rid of them. On top of that, the Beginonans were defending their ship from an unknown army. Of course Ike just HAD to help.

There was a bunch of treasure chests. The two thieves, Volke and Sothe, ran around opening them. Every time Sothe got something he'd go "Rolf! You want a killer bow?", or "Hey Soren! I found an elfire. You want it?", or whatever. Volke finally knocked him on the head with his knife and told him to can it. Sothe started whining about the fact that he couldn't use most of the stuff. Volke asked him if he'd ever heard of trading or the supply. Sothe kicked him and said he was trying to trade until "SOMEBODY shot off his big fat mouth". Volke said something about the pot calling the kettle black. Then Ike had to come break up the thief fight.

New recruits, nothing new. A bow knight named Astrid(and she's WEAK with a capital W) and a knight.

After the battle everybody just sat around chewing the fat. Am I the only one that noticed the disappearance of Ike and the Princess at the EXACT SAME TIME? They were giving each other weird looks earlier...

In other news, that knight got into some whiskey. Of course that made him dumber than he already is, but it also made him hyper. After he got done running around, jumping on stuff and screaming random phrases, he barfed all over the deck. Uck. No more alcohol for him, I hope.

a/n: Yes, I just HAD to make Gatrie drunk. I couldn't resist :P 


End file.
